101 Best Funny & Good Comebacks In An Argument

100 Best Funny & Good Comebacks In An Argument
Photo: Pixabay

Are you looking for some savage, funny, best, and good comebacks?

You’re in the right spot.

It always feels good to win an argument, whether it’s with a friend, a relative, your neighbor, or even an enemy.

But sometimes, we’re often at the end of a tongue-lashing that gets us so angry it becomes challenging to make a comeback. 

When you’re at such a point, thinking of witty comebacks becomes next to impossible, and you end up losing the argument. 

It is only several hours after the argument does a comeback come to mind.

It sucks to be in such a situation.

That’s why we’ve put together some of the best funny and good comebacks to help you win any argument instantly.

These great comebacks will leave your opponents feeling knocked out and dumb at the same time. 

So let’s dive right in.

Good Comebacks in an Argument

1. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. How else would you understand me?

Sarcastic Comeback

2. Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. You owe that tree an apology

3. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me?

4. I bet If you run the way your mouth does, you’d be in good shape.

5. You’ve been talking so much shit you need a toilet paper.

6. Shit happens, I mean… look at your face.

7. You’re so full of shit I’ll bet you make every toilet jealous.

8. I’m baffled by just how flexible you can be. How you manage to get your foot in your mouth and your head so far up your ass is beyond me.

9. Each time you speak, my brain cells begin to commit suicide one after the other.

10. I’ll bet if I typed idiot on Google, your picture is the first thing that pops up.

11. Just keep rolling your eyes; maybe it will find you a brain somewhere.

12. I would have called you a pig, but the pigs would find it offensive.

13. Wow, you really pulled off a big one; your ass is probably jealous of all that shit coming out of your mouth.

14. It must have been really difficult for you, exhausting your entire vocabulary in just one sentence.

15. I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I just can’t get my head in my ass.

Savage Comebacks

16. Here’s a tissue paper; you’ve got some horse shit stuck in your mouth.

Savage Comeback

17. You shouldn’t let your mind wander. It’s too little to go wandering off on its own.

18. The trash gets picked up tomorrow, be ready.

19. So tell me… is your ass aware your head has moved in?

20. Are you always this stupid, or is today a special occasion?

21. You’re just like a bag of Huggies, self-absorbed and full of shit.

22. You sound better with your mouth shut.

23. I can only imagine the pain you went through falling out of someone’s butt and into the toilet, you piece of crap.

24. I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

25. I will be filing your opinions right here, between ‘fuck this’ and ‘fuck that.’

26. You must have been born on the highway. That’s where accidents happen.

27. I don’t know what makes you this stupid, but whatever it is, it’s working.

28. Sorry, I don’t understand you, I don’t speak “Assholian.”

29. I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.

30. Don’t get your hopes up. Me being silent doesn’t mean I agree with you. I was only silent because your level of stupidity rendered me speechless.

Best Comebacks

31. Some babies were dropped on their heads, but you were clearly thrown at the wall.

Best Comeback

32. You remind me of a penny…two-faced and not worth much.

33. Oh sweetie, that high horse you’re on makes your ass look huge.

34. I would make a joke about your life, but I see life already beat me to it.

35. You’re the reason God created the middle finger.

36. What are you, twelve?… Yes, on a scale of one to ten.

37. You’re so fat…fat is a temporary caloric imbalance, but stupidity is a permanent malfunction.

38. I see no point in arguing with you. You do a fine job of proving your ignorance all on your own.

39. You’re so ugly… Really? Well, I was trying to look like you today.

40. No, I checked my receipts, and I didn’t buy any of your bullshit.

41. If you’re going to be a smartass, then be smart; otherwise you’re just an ass.

42. I can get a plastic surgeon for my ugliness, but you’re just going to remain stupid forever.

43. It’s pointless trying to make fun of you; it would take you the whole day to figure it out.

44. It’s so cute seeing you try to talk about things you don’t understand.

45. Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t get that; I don’t speak, idiot.

Funny Comebacks

46. I would call you a retard, but the retards would find that very offensive.

47. I’d bet it took you a whole week to come up with that one.

Funny Comeback

48. I’m really busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

49. If I threw a stick, would you leave?

50. If you’re going to have two faces, at least make one of them pretty.

51. Excuse me, you’re mistaking me for someone who gives a shit.

52. If I wanted a bitch, I would have gotten a dog.

53. Balls just called; they wanted to know if you want a pair.

54. Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life and how I should be living it; please continue while I take notes.

55. You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

56. You look like a character of a video game whose face hasn’t completely loaded yet.

57. Of course, I didn’t come here to insult you; I don’t have to be near you to insult you.

58. Are you in a competition? Cause you just somehow manage to keep setting records on stupidity.

59. I think you need to climb back in your mum and cook for a little while longer.

60. If you had two brains, you would still be twice as stupid.

Mean Comebacks

61. I envy anyone who hasn’t met you.

Mean Comeback

62. You’re so stupid you don’t even arouse suspicion.

63. If you had a brain cell, it would probably die of loneliness.

64. You may not be the dumbest person on earth, but you’d better pray he doesn’t die.

65. It smells like something is burning… don’t tell me you’re trying to think again.

66. The next time you cross the road, don’t bother looking.

67. If brains were dynamite, you still wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.

68. You aren’t worth the dust that blows in your face.

69. This is a battle of wits, and you came unarmed.

70. We need to get to the zoo. I really need to meet your family.

71. What you lack in beauty, you make up for in stupidity.

72. I would like to leave you with a wise saying, I just don’t know where you’re going to put it.

73. It’s not my fault that a perfect description of you feels like an insult.

74. You look like something that came out of a slow cooker.

75. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings; I thought you already knew how stupid you are.

Witty Comebacks

76. Please do you mind telling me where the off button for your mouth is?

Witty Comeback

77. I would have insulted you, but I’d have to explain it to you afterward.

78. Everyone is allowed to be stupid, just don’t abuse it.

79. I honestly don’t know what your problem is, but I’m pretty sure it would be really hard to pronounce.

80. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

81. If you’re going to act like a turd, then go lay in the yard.

82. Afraid of the zombie? Don’t be; it only eats brains, so you’re safe.

83. So you don’t see anything wrong with being an idiot, but you have a problem with me pointing it out?

84. Wait, let me wash the stupid off you, Oh forget it, it’s not coming off.

85. The last time I saw something exactly like you, I flushed it.

86. Sometimes I wish I was deaf so that I don’t have to listen to your bullshit anymore.

87. Don’t feel bad; there are a lot of people with no talent whatsoever.

88. I just wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I feel about your stupidity.

89. You bring great joy to us all whenever you leave the room.

90. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart or take a shit.

Sarcastic Comebacks

91. Wow, that’s a really good story, so at what chapter do you shut up?

Sarcastic Comeback

92. You will never be the man your mom is.

93. You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

94. You’re just like a cloud; when you disappear, everywhere brightens.

95. Earth is full. Go home.

96. It seems your only purpose is to become an organ donor.

97. You don’t have to be ashamed of who you are; that’s your parents’ job.

98. People like you are the reason God no longer talks to us.

99. Your secrets are safe with me; I don’t even listen to them.

100. Were you born this stupid, or did you attend a school for it?

101. Am I talking to idiots here or is it just you?!

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