60+ Hilariously Funny Hockey Jokes, Puns & One-Liners

Hilariously Funny Hockey Jokes & Puns

Are you looking for some good, witty, hilarious and funny hockey jokes, puns or one-liners?

You’re about to have a good laugh.

Aside from enjoying the playing thrills of hockey players, listening to good jokes about hockey will certainly raise your sporty spirit and trap you in wreckage of laughter.

Here is a list of funny jokes and puns about hockey that would leave you ribs cackling.

Funny Hockey Jokes

What is the difference between wrestling and hockey? The fights are real in hockey — Jokes About Hockey

1. Q: What is the difference between wrestling and hockey?

A: The fights are real in hockey.

2. My friends and I visited Canada for the first time. We got into a fight, and a hockey game broke out.

3. Q: Why was the hockey player arrested and sent to jail?

A: He shot the ball.

4. Q: What happened to the hockey player who demanded money?

A: He was given a check.

5. Q: Why can’t pigs play hockey?

A: They hog the puck.

6. Q: What do a dentist, and a field hockey coach have in common?

A: Both use drills!

7. Q: The hockey player climbs a tree with his hockey stick for what reason?

A: He wanted to join maple leaf.

8. Q: A monkey who wins the Stanley Cup is called what?

A: A chimpion. 

9. Q: What hockey players can’t be trusted?

A: Anyone on the Devils.

10. Q: Why did the new ice hockey player not perform well?

A: He got cold feet.

11. Q: What did the coach tell the new hockey player?

A: I got my eyes on you.

12. Q: Why is it dangerous to crack jokes while playing hockey?

A: Because the ice might crack up.

13. Q: Why do NHL players never sweat?

A: Because they have too many fans.

14. Q: In what manner did the blonde fisherman die?

A: While ice fishing, he got run over by the Zamboni!

15. Q: What did the skeleton drive to the hockey game?

A: A Zam-bony.

Hilarious Hockey Puns

The hockey player climbed a tree with his hockey stick for what reason? He wanted to join the Maple Leafs.

16. Q: The difference between a fat chick and the Atlanta Trashers?

A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while.

17. Q: Why do hockey players visit the bank?

A: To give out more checks.

18. Q: Why was the short-tempered hockey team coach angry when he opened his email?

A: He had so many forwards.

19. Q: What is the favorite position of play for a ghost in the hockey team?

A: A Ghouli.

20. Q: Why can’t carpenters play hockey?

A: Because they get nailed to boards.

21. Q: The young hockey player could not play on the school music band for what reason?

A: Because he broke his trombone.

22. Q: Why is Cinderella bad in the game of hockey?

A: Because she learned it from a pumpkin.

23. Q: Who was the famous sitcom character that loved hockey?

A: Stanley from “The Off-ice”

24. Q: Did you enjoy the hockey game last night?

A: Yes, it was the perfect icing on the cake.

25. Q: Why are hockey players good at making new friends easily?

A: Because they know how to break the ice real quick.

26. Q: What is the favorite meal of an Eskimo hockey player?

A: Ice berg’ers.

27. Q: What would you call a dad and son duo invited for dinner at the hockey coach’s home?

A: It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

28. Q: In an interview, a famous hockey goalkeeper’s wife was asked what the advantage of dating a goalie is?

A: “Because he’s a keeper.”

29. Q: Why can’t great hockey players listen to music?

A: They’ve broken so many records.

30. Q: Why was Cinderella kicked off the hockey team?

A: Because she is always running away from the ball.

Good Jokes About Hockey

Why did the new ice hockey player not perform well?

31. Q: What was on the menu for the winning hockey team?

A: Stanley cupcakes.

32. Q: How many NHL players can jump higher than a crossbar?

A: All of them, crossbar can’t jump.

33. Q: What does music and ice hockey game have in common?

A: If a person doesn’t C sharp, the person will B flat.

34. Q: What is the perfect gift for a hockey player?

A: An ice cap.

35. Q: What did the Zamboni say to the hockey player?

A: Ice to meet you.

36. Q: What did the enforcer say to the hockey team?

A: Just checking.

37. Q: If potato chip companies launch air hockey, what would it be?

A: It would be just air and less hockey.

38. Q: What made the horse go to the hockey trial?

A: The horse misheard it and thought it to be a jockey trial.

39. Q: Who are the comedic trio that Detroit Red Wings fans love with all their hearts?

A: The Monty Babcock’s Flying Circus.

40. Q: Why are there so many track marks on the eyes of the hockey rink?

A: The maintenance authority we’re slipping up.

41. Q: What did the Captain of the ship tell the hockey player who was using the rowboat?

A: Bobby Orr

42. Q: What is the difference between hockey players and hippy chicks?

A: Hockey players shower after three periods.

43. Q: The greatest hockey player in history would be called what if he had chosen not to play hockey?

A: Wanye Regretzky

44. Q: How many teeth does a hockey player have?

A: Don’t you mean tooth?

Witty Puns About Hockey

Why can't girls play in a boy's ice hockey team? – Puns About Hockey

45. Q: A pedophile’s favorite part of a hockey game is when?

A: Before the first period.

46. Q: Why can’t girls play on a boy’s ice hockey team?

A: Because their pad only lasts one period.

47. Q: What do hockey players and magicians have in common?

A: Both do hat tricks.

48. Q: What do hockey players and goldfish have in common?

A: Tap on the glass, and you will get both attention.

49. Q: Why are hockey rinks rounded?

A: If they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.

50. Q: In what way do hockey players kiss?

A: They pucker up.

51. Q: Another word for a hockey fan?

A: A Canadian.

52. Q: When do hockey players dress in formal attire?

A: When it is a tie game.

53. Q: What would you call 5 Vancouver Canucks players standing ear to ear?

A: A wind tunnel.

54. Q: Why are fans from San Jose Sharks drink from a saucer?

A: Because the cup is always in Detroit!

55. Q: What do a fine wine and the New Jersey Devils have in common?

A: Both spend a lot of time in the cellar and cost too much and are only enjoyed on selected occasions.

56. Q: How many New Jersey Devils would it take to change a tire?

A: One unless it is a blowout, in which case all will show up.

57. Q: The difference between a bucket of shit and a New Jersey Devils fan is what?

A: The bucket

58. Q: One thing Billy Graham and Los Angeles king have in common is what?

A: Both can make 15000 people stand up and scream “Jesus Christ.”

59. Q: How do the Los Angeles Kings spend the first week of training in camp?

A: They study the Miranda Rights.

60. Q: What is the difference between a Dallas Stars fan and a pothole?

A: I could swerve to avoid the pothole but not the fan.

61. In a new pool resort, 91% of people are satisfied with their lives; the remainder is Dallas Stars fans.

62. Q: Where do hockey players get their hockey Jersey?

A: New Jersey.

63. Q: Why don’t hockey players participate in dressing for Halloween?

A: Because they would have to take their face-off.

64. Q: What do a defeated hockey team and scrambled eggs have in common?

A: Both have been beaten up thoroughly.

65. The shoe shop owner couldn’t find the right size of shoe for the hockey player because it was his square foot.

Wrap Up

Hope you enjoyed our compilation of funny hockey jokes and puns in this article.

Finally, do you have any jokes or puns about hockey you may want to share with us?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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