Want some hilariously funny racing jokes?
Here is something everyone would love to read about.
On some days when things aren’t going according to plan, a good joke could be all you need to set you up for better things.
This is because hearing or sharing a joke has a way of releasing your tension and opening up your mind to more positive energies.
Even among athletes, jokes go a long way in fostering unity, corporation, and a relaxed atmosphere.
Therefore, we have put together more than twenty-five really ‘rib-cracking’ jokes about racing.
Suppose you happen to be “Mr. Boring” or “Miss Too Serious,” we trust that you would find this collection helpful in strengthening your conversations and friendly relationships.
Some Hilarious Racing Jokes
What are the names of the world’s fastest runners ever?
Don’t be surprised they are both from the same family. They are Mr. Adam and his wife Eve. They were first in the human race.
Vlad the Impaler was a very successful racing instructor.
Bet you didn’t know that. He brought thousands into the ‘holy’ pole position
What do you think you would get if you crossed a race car with a stud?
The answer is crashed potatoes.
How did a barber win the race?
It was quite simple, though; he knew a short cut through your hair.
Both my wife and child left me due to my horse racing addiction.
And they’re off.
A horse says to another, ‘Dude, as I was running, I began feeling a sharp pain on my backside, and for some reason, that made me run even way faster.’
The second horse replied,’ A similar thing happens to me too, bro. When I’m running, and I get a stinging sensation on my ass, I begin to run way faster.’
A nearby racing dog overheard the conversation between the horses and decided to join in. ‘Guys, the same thing happens to me in a race. I was bothered I was the only one this happened to.’
The first horse looks at his friend and whispers, “holy shit, bro, it’s a talking dog.”
Does a retards have a favorite race?
Yes! The grand autismo.
What punctuation mark would most likely win a race?
That shouldn’t beat you. The answer is the “dash,” of course!
Chuck Norris and Time raced twenty years ago.
The result is inconclusive because Time is still running till today…
I was in a bar some days ago when a beautiful girl asked me, ‘What do you do?’
I replied, ‘I race motorcycles.’
She asked further, ‘Do you usually win many races?’
I said, ‘No, the bikes are much faster than I am.’
Why did the legless dude think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
It’s not called driving with a mask on.
It’s Mask Car Racing
Today we watched as children of 6 years olds played bicycle races.
They even had their leader, who announced the team’s names participating in the next races.
So, “Black Lightning” starts first, followed by “Strawberry,” and your team is called, he asks the last rider.
He answers something illegible. The host – and the last one to go is “Hot Turtle.”
No, the racer is offended; my team is “Burning Skulls.”
A Formula 1 racer came fifth to his wife on their wedding night.
One friend drove too fast in a car, and he got arrested.
It was in the evening, and here, there are such automatic cameras that take pictures of all fast-moving racers, well, they made his portrait.
A week later, he receives a check for a certain amount and a photo of his car with a speed indicator.
Next, he photographed the money on the table for the amount indicated in the check, and sent it to the return address.
A week later, the answer comes. He opens the envelope – there is a photograph of the handcuffs.
On the Formula-1 track, our racer showed the seventeenth time, behind the winner by only a day.
Vitaly Petrov is the only Formula 1 driver who flashes his headlights to other drivers when he sees the police.
The journalist asks the winning driver how he managed to bypass such experienced and famous rivals
The driver answered and said, “Yes, just the brakes failed.”
The race car driver invited the girl to ride his racing car.
Outside the city, at a turn, he lost control, the car skidded, it flew off the slope, rolled over several times, but successfully landed on all four wheels.
– Why complicate things so much? The girl was surprised. You could just go into the forest and say that the gasoline ran out.
The inscription on the grave of the Formula 1 driver:
“J. Johnson, the famous race car driver. Born and died from a hole in the rubber.”
Races of the formula 900/1800 or better still cockroach races in Novorusskaya style.
Instructions and rules of the game:
Mobile phones (according to the number of riders) are placed on the inclined board, switched to vibration mode.
At the start signal, the participants of the races call each on his own phone. Whose mobile is the first to crawl to the finish line, wins the race.
In the next season, the Formula-1 competition will be attended by Russian racers.
Their car was created based on the T-tank
– Western competitors in panic. The Russian format travels slowly, but it fires quickly.
A sports commentator interviews one skier, who has just retired from the race.
Commentator – You certainly did not win, but tell me, did you like the race itself?
Skier – I liked the moonshine, so we didn’t win.
In the village of Ohio, another race, according to the C2H5OH formula, has begun.
The best riders are already racing and are in the second stage of the race.
During the race at the Formula 1 stage, the Armenian driver suddenly steps on the brakes at the side of the road.
He picked up a few passengers, and drove on.
It’s always dull in the office in the middle of the week.
The boss’s driver sits and plays racing on his computer. The boss comes out, looks for a couple of minutes as he plays.
Boss – If you drove THAT, I wouldn’t go with you…
Driver – If I had such a Porsche, I wouldn’t take you…
Peter is a master of sports in cross-country skiing. John is a hired killer.
On average, both are involved in biathlon.
Where are they all driving them to?
– It’s a race
– Well, what’s the point?
– The one who comes first will win big money
– It’s understandable. But why are the others being driven?
The reporter addresses the driver
Reporter – You didn’t win, but how did you like the race itself?
Driver – We really liked the self-race, that’s why we didn’t win…
During a racing game, two Ferraris are in the lead.
The crowd is raging. And suddenly, a man begins to squeeze through the crowd to the very edge of the podium as he shouts…
“let me go, I can’t see, move away, let me pass, I can’t see it well, let me in.”
Finally, he pushes into the first row, and then a neighbor obligingly offers him:
Neighbor – Maybe if you don’t see well, I could give you binoculars?
Man – No thanks, I have an optical one.
That’s all folks!
Hope you have a good laugh with our hilarious racing jokes.
As the popular saying goes, “laughter is the best medicine,” so laugh a little.
It would be best if you had it.
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